Hello everyone! Thanks as always for supporting this blog and the fight for Tourette’s Awareness. Without you this would just be an idle vessel.
This blog entry is sort of a seasonal theme, which is something new, but I hope to sort of make a “thing”. With Halloween less than two weeks away, I thought it would be fitting to list some things that scare me because of my TS. This is not meant to be a blanket statement list. Everyone experiences TS differently and I’m sure has their own type of fears because of it. These are just the ones I feel might be of interest, or might fit in with a good portion of the crowd.
- Long lines at the grocery store – O man…lemme tell you how much fun it is to be in line with people who are already generally in a bad mood, cramped between two racks of magazines with a bulky cart as you try not to draw attention to yourself, or twitch your arm and knock something over. It isn’t fun at all. In fact, I have circled around the store in hopes a shorter or new line will open up just to not stand there longer than I have to.
- Being stuck at long lights or in construction while driving – This is sort of similar to being in a long line, but now the people in the car next to me are assuming I am either on drugs or shouldn’t be allowed to drive my vehicle. I can’t keep my windows down on a spring day at lights because I don’t want anyone to hear me tic. It truly makes me hate driving.
- Theaters. Library’s. Anywhere that involves being calm and quiet for long periods of time. – I remember the fear I used to have going to class, especially that first day when you don’t know anyone in class or how they’d react to your tics. i get this fear any time i have to go to a graduation, or even a funeral.
- Losing our friends – I feel like this is a fear for most people, but with TS, it is twice as frightening. It is hard enough to make friends as a normal, healthy individual. When you have something like TS that can be socially embarrassing, it is hard to find people who not only don’t mind being around that, but know how to conduct themselves.
- Long trips – Again, most people get anxious about these. However, they aren’t worried about injuring a passenger on the plane with a leg or arm tic. Or worrying said passenger demand they be moved.
- Medical exams – Whether it be the dentist making you hold your mouth open a certain way and you cant jaw tic. Or an eye doctor asking you to look a certain way and you can’t eye tic. Or maybe an x-ray and you cant twitch your arm, leg or neck. not being able to tic in these situations causes a lot of anxiety. After a very long root canal last year, I can attest. Nothing makes you want to tic more than being restrained.
- Holding babies – For the record, I am not afraid to hold a baby. I love babies. I love being around babies and have tried to be a big part of my nephews life since the second he was born. This is more a fear of holding a sleeping baby, or holding a baby while other people are watching you. I say this because, I in particular have a tic where I will scrunch my oblique and abdomen. And when you are holding a child in your lap, that is going to move them. It might even wake them up if they are sleeping. And if someone is watching you, they are going to start questioning why they let you hold their child. Awkwarrrrrrd
That concludes my short list. As I said, this is not going to hit home with everyone, but I think the idea of having unique fears because of your TS is pretty common. If you’d like to share yours, I’m all ears (Ok, well eyes) Who knows, maybe we will have them in common. Sometimes that is as comforting as anything.
Be safe out there and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!